“Galau” so this is what Indonesian call confused in Bahasa…

Today, i am not in busy at all, just listening all Shayne Ward’s songs in my playlist, two days ago Facebook reminded me about my status 6 years ago, I wrote a part of Breathless lyric..And i feel nostalgic, remember what was happened 6 years ago about my feeling.

but, what is it related to that word “galau”..yup, sure…thinking about many things about what was happened in my life, in this year I wonder something amazing will happen but it is so contrast with the reality. I just want to relax with all Ward’s song.

Health, career, financial, life, love, education are so muddle…

I don’t know I just galau…huhuhuhu…

Hope something wonderful but not a hardworker….sadly, badly…stupid!!!


29 th February 2016

What a special day, thank god.. Should I feel happy or not, I don’t know…but the thing that I know that I found an interesting story in my life today in this day…

Yeah, personally, I feel bad for this day…or maybe because I have high expectation about something good will happen to me this day like in my previous story several years ago maybe three or four years ago.

Ok, let me try to write it down, what happened to me in this day…

It started with an odd dream, I woke up this morning as usual but the dream was still in my mind even until now when I am writing this short story, I am still remembering that dream. Forget about dream, then preparing to go to the Training Center and Education in Ministry of State Secretariat in Cipete, South Jakarta. I have been joining a workshop called  Candidate Development Program Phase I, this workshop has helped us to make a proper application such as how to make a good paragraph telling about your job related to the organisation will and what the scholarship want.

I rode my bike for 45 minutes to arrive the training center from my kost-kostan or boarding house in Matraman, East Jakarta. Even though, it was still early in the morning before 7am but the the traffic look busy as usual, jam everywhere. Hmm, finally I safely arrive, put my bag in the dormitory and went to the class because it began at 8am.

Everything went smoothly, until I met trouble when I tried to turn it on my Asus my white laptop. The monitor was black with light scratches and can’t work as well as usual then I became mellow, sad and hold back the tears, hikss..  then I remember how can my asus become like this, last night the Bapak Ojek fell down the laptop accidentally but I never think something bad will happen to my laptop but see it happened worst than I think.

After that, I didn’t pay attention with the speaker I just thinking how to fix my laptop, then I went out the class and try to find the technician. And, what he said that maybe the LCD had broken, what was he said made me cant hold my tears anymore, look how maudlin I am. maybe because like I said it before, I have high expectation about this day so when it’s not going as my expectations I’ll feel bad.

I left my laptop with the technician, and try to enjoy the class, second session is how to make a good motivation letter and the end is writing skills basic.

So this is all happen on this day….and also using this laptop for writing this story… now i have to publish it before the monitor error…bye for the next stort

Like and Dislike Being Biker in Jakarta

Starting with the mass transportation problem in this city, I decided to buy a motorcycle and I gave a name “Bru” because of the colour is Blue and in Indonesia we call it Biru so I ommit the “i” and became Bru.

Before buying it, I used to take Kopaja 502 (Kampung Melayu-Tanah Abang). I waited that Kopaja in  front of Gramedia Matraman around 06.30 am and arrived at the office around 07.10 am. At that time, using Kopaja was the best option because of Kopaja has many fleets. I had not wait too long eventhough there was no seat available which means standing along the way to get office. It wasn’t matter by condition not take more than 1 hour long.

Almost two year using Kopaja to go to office, Bru came, Bru has been accompanying me since September 2012. Not long Bru came, the authority moved my office to Veteran street not in Thamrin anymore and I felt thankful because I knew how hard to take Transjakarta from my Kost to office. The transjak always full of passengers, for me it was okay but I hate for waiting too long sometimes I was late because of uncertainty schedule.

So the story being biker in Jakarta has started. I have some opinion for being biker in this city and I try to tell you about that in my blog especially the things about like and dislike. Lets check this out!

Things I like being biker are:

  1. Easy way: I don’t have to go to the gramedia matraman to wait the Angkot.
  2. Fastest way: I just only take 20-25 minutes to get office but if I use Transjak or Angkot, I have to wake up 30 minutes early in the morning than usual, hihihi
  3. Cheapest way: For around two weeks (If just Kost and office) I just need only Rp50.000 for the fuel (pertamax) while when using angkot or transjak it will more than that.
  4. Quickly way to get rid from traffic jam.

.Things I don’t like being biker are:

  1. Noisy, many bikers modify their motorcycle sound which will be more louder than usual also the horn too.
  2. Uncomfortable, when you are in the back of modify muffler motorcycle, the emit gas will directly go to your face. In other hand, the pollution from exhaust pipe will directly sucked.
  3. There are still riders who are not orderly with traffic signs, overtaking quickly and reckless.
  4. The angkot, kopaja and metromini do not stop in bus stop and moving wherever they want without giving signs.
  5. Some of bikers modify their head lamps with white shines lamp so sometimes it is too glare.
  6. If you are too careful then car or motorcycle will do klaxon to you again and again.
  7. Eventhough you ride carefully, it would not be  a guarantee that you’ll safely arrive. Sometimes, because of other people negligence you would get hit or fell.
  8. You may be the victim of mugging if you are not put your bag or value things in the safe place like in the motorcycle luggage. Never put the value things in dashboard or hook.

I know that there are many negative impacts but for now I am still need Bru.

Ride safely Bro!!!

Happy Birthday To Me


Long time no see,, Happy Birthday to Me for 29 years old in this day in this date in this year and also for my country Indonesia, Happy Independence Day for 70th.

Wish me luck and health….amiinnn

I don’t have any idea to tell but in this year I have so many stories but most of them are bad.

I’ve got “gift” yeah I say gift from God, An incredible gift… Only Allah may take it back this gift..

Cured and Healthy

Amiinn.. 🙂

Hopefully this cysts would be disappeared


Crawl to Reach Dreams

Counting days…

4 days to know my IELTS test… hopefully, this will be starting point to go further for reaching my dreams…amiiinn…

It takes so long time to write in this blog again, maybe I was too shy to make a story, I felt like I didn’t do anything good during that time..

Lately, I took IELTS preparation course in IALF for 50 hours but before I had taken in WLC only for 10 hours. But this in IALF, I got many things to make a good essay with the right body paragraph, yeah my writing skills is totally bad, hum Speaking too, Listening and Reading too…Oh my God!! 😦 …how poor I am… But,  I’ve tried to do best. I still don’t know the result, so far I think is not good enough…However, I keep to think positive…with this result, I must enroll one of scholarship, yes I must.. and after that I have to take another IELTS test…

In other hand, I’ve already sent my application for following MGG course in Germany for 3 months, and MGG will call me in the early April but until now they don’t call me yet, maybe..maybe…maybe…. :(. If they don’t call me until the end of April so it means I have to make another application in the future…hehehe,,,keep in fighting for what you want, Afni… 🙂 Even though, I have an obstacle, this year I’ve been chosen for being treasurer, so I think it could bother my way, because I have to be responsible for that position. But, if my application is accepted, I will  let off that position while the stakeholder will be disappointed with me. and I am sorry… I must choose which one is priority for me and for my future.

in the early morning of sixth April…

*and i only got 5,5 overall for IELTS.. 😦 but I’ll try to retake another test and hope to get 6,5 overall.. :), for the MGG, they will announce final decision in May…Hopefully, including me.. 🙂

Play in My Mind

March 16th 2014


In the night bus, travel from Luang Prabang to Viantiane


Personally, this is the craziest thing I’ve ever made for being travel alone in seven days go overseas. If you ask me that I enjoyed my trip? I’ll say YES but it could be NO too.

Actually, I enjoyed every single step for being alone, nobody knows who I am, use my time alone for reading a book, just relax, see sunset or just feel the air or looking at the moonlight of  full moon, enjoyed seating in the bus/train for long hours, see the scenery outside from bus/train, sleepless, and so many opinions play in my mind, yeah I ENJOYED.. 

But sometime, I am just a human, I need to talk to share what in my mind and what I feel. Yeah, I can speak with other foreigner or local people but it could not deep as friend and then I realized that I am not a person who likes to start talking more but when it happens and I feel enjoy to talk with so I’ll talk and talk, try to follow the dialogue, to understand what they mean, to improve my English and rethink some words that’s wrong and try to correct it in my mind. 

In this trip, I made some interactions with people from Canada, the two Canadian, the first I met in the hotel, he stayed at the same hotel with me in Viantiane, he has retired and goes to some countries outside his hometown because he doesn’t have some reason to stay there so why he has to live in Canada with no family, he likes enjoying quite place only for enjoyed time for being lone.The second Canadian, I met in the bus, she traveled alone to Luang Prabang but she will meet her friend there a Japanese (Just say hello but overall I know that they are all are really experienced about traveling). She is really a good listener and appreciate of responding what I talked. Her name Amanda, she works in Bangkok and goes to Luang Prabang for travelling, she looks like not as amateur like me for being traveler, she has visited many places around world. And then I met a couple from Poland they want to spend 3 months to go around before their wedding date in this December, they do honey moon before married, he said because after married he will work and no time to go around, this couple are very experienced and very talk active and speak quickly sometimes I don’t understand what they mean, yeah my English is not good enough.. And met people from Swiss, not too much talking and I know that some of them can speak Bahasa because she has lived in Jakarta for a long time but we shared email and inviting on facebook

And last but not least, I met people from Spain, the two midwives, they work in the hospital, they traveled around Thailand, Laos and Cambodia, they were so kind and let me to join them to go around. Pedro and Manuel, their name, it was pleasure time to meet them, we shared story about our traveling and email. 

From it all, I’ve learnt about what kind of people are they, I guessed in my mind, I know a little bit about their behavior..

It was an interesting experience…. 

Fair for Love

Hummm, actually it’s a shame to talk about love, but let’s say that it’s a part of human life. Love is general things, not only for couple but also between us and one another, family, friends, even for animal.

Maybe, this is a part of my life, should I tell about.

When I was teen, like everybody else, I have love story too yeah, but I realize, until now not more than 2 people that I love, it’s not easy to fall in love and if once fallen in love I’ll keep it the feeling until I know that he doesn’t like me or have another woman to marry. It’s hard, right!!

But life must go on, he is married now and have one child, and the story is over, I don’t remember him anymore, I forget all of memories and believe that it was only a kind of love between friends not more than that, or maybe because we have different religion so it’s easy to accept that fact.

Time through and carry me to this age which effect my mind to think about marriage, but from the deepest my heart, I can’t make a serious relationship, I am not feasible to be, so it would be hurt both parties, let me feel it alone because we will never be together until whenever.

But, sometimes I think why God creates this situation like this for me, it’s not fair for me but if I accept him, it’s not fair for him too.

Should I blame God? no, big not.. Maybe now I still don’t know the reason why, I try to think positive about all possibilities. But Ya Allah, Don’t you give one more time to fix it all and find someone who wants accept me as I am.

Why they don’t like me?

Why this happened to me?

Why I can’t be like others?

There’s so many question in my mind, hope I’ll find the answer in the right time…